Saturday, June 28, 2008

My Favourite Video Clips

2007 Ern Tong and Sean, fun time

Friday, June 27, 2008

Memory of Knitting and Crocheting

It has been such a long time since I stop knitting/crocheting. Though the skill is not as good, somehow I managed to recall part of them. Pictures shown here are three of my recent products : )
At the age of 13, I started my journey of knitting/crocheting, picking up the skill from an aunt. My aunt's passion for knitting/crocheting influenced me.
My products include baby shoes, tumbler holders, dresses, bags and etc. Many of them given out as gift.
What a sweet memory when I am writing this., recalling the past where I have lots of fun knitting/crocheting with a group of classmates during the secondary school days.
Whenever approaching to school holiday, a group of classmates including myself will start to knit/crochet. Enjoying the process of making a piece of garment from yarn. The topics by then is all about knitting/crocheting., where to buy the proper materials, colour matching, and so on.

It is now year 2008, I believed most of them are too busy to knit/crochet by now. Each and everyone of us has our own priority in life., career or family ?
Friendship makes our life colourful and wonderful ..................... miss you much, my dear friends.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Sean and his Middle Child Syndrome

I came to know about 'Middle Child Syndrome' during a gathering with friends. From then, I make an effort to discuss this subject with other friends. To my surprise, many of them encountered and commented similar issues on middle child.
For me, I must admit that I am having tough time with Sean especially during my pregnancy of Ern Nee, the youngest. Many times, I lost control of myself, I even lost direction on how to handle him; feeling so useless, guilty and sad after the scolding and screaming. At one stage, I fell into serious anxiety and depression. This is because I love and care for him so much., but in return he demands for more love and care by misbehaving and being very defensive.
I happened to be a middle child myself. Though not 100%, I do agree to most of the points published in articles that I have read through. Please find the articles summarised as per belows:
*A middle child often have the sense of not belonging and feel left out and insecure.
*A middle child feels that life is unfair, or unloved or less loved than the others, and develop into an adult who suffers from a negative view of life.
*A middle child fights to receive attention because they feel ignored and have their 'firsts' not given as much praise.
*A middle child is often a loner. They don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship.
*A middle child is traditionally not over achievers and only do enough to get by. This is because they do not like to take the limelight for anything.
*A middle child is however very artistic and creative. If forced to use abilities they will work well.
*A middle child often grow up to be well-adjusted, easy-going adults. It is said that middle child, since they must learn to deal with both oldest and youngest sibling, often learn adaptability, and may turn out to be the kind of adults who are good mediators and negotiators.
I hope that by sharing the above, it grants emotional support in helping you, to handle better with anxiety and depression when dealing with middle child.
Meantime, do remember to help middle children find their own unique gifts and talents and hence building strong sense of identity. Praise them for things they did well, avoid comparing amongst siblings and try to spend individual time with each of your children. Good luck !

Articles on Parenting

Potty Training-A Simple 4 Step Formula for Initiating Toilet Training by: Elena Neitlich

Potty Training-A Simple 4 Step Formula for Initiating Toilet Training.

“I’m so done with diapers!” groans a mother as she looks at the high price tag on the jumbo pack of diapers. “Is it time for my child to start potty training?”

Potty training is a big milestone for children. But how do parents know when to start? Intuition, expectations, common sense and observation play key roles in initiating potty training.

Step #1-Create a Parent/Child Team

Potty training is a combined effort between parent and child. Some parents may assume that they are in charge, while other parents place the child at the helm. In actuality, potty training is a partnership. Parents provide support, potty training tools, books, and dry clothing; children do the “going.”

Grasping the concept that potty training is a team effort between parent and child, and not a command and control situation, is critical to success. Strict, impatient pursuit of the goal puts undo pressure on the child, resulting in stress, anxiety and in some cases delayed potty training.

Step#2-Starting early doesn’t ensure quick results

In depth research on intensive potty training has proven that initiating the process early is in fact correlated to extended duration of potty training. Those parents who start training prematurely find that the potty training process lasts longer.

Children must develop bladder and muscle control before they are able to control toileting. Parents may adhere to this rough timeline of readiness: 15-18 months the child senses that his or her clothes are wet; 18 months the child may urinate on the potty if placed on it; 2- 2 1/2 years the child might alert the parent that he has to go; and 3-4 years the child may have the ability to “hold it” and visit the bathroom alone.

Step#3-Determine readiness by child’s development

When deciding to begin the potty training process, chronological age may not be the correct indicator for readiness. The parent should look for signs that the child is developmentally ready. This is especially true for babies who were born prematurely and children who are developmentally delayed.

Some good signs of readiness are: child can sit and walk well, child can stay dry for 2 hours or more, child is interested in doing what big kids or grownups do, child is able to follow and execute simple instructions, and child seems to understand what the potty is for and uses words relating to using the toilet.

Parents should assess the temperament of the child. Important questions to ask are: is the child able to focus, what is her attention span, does the child frustrate easily, is the child easily angered or discouraged.

For most children potty training occurs between 2 and 3 years, with the majority of children potty trained by 4.

Step#4-Go on now, go!

Today is the day! Parents should make sure that the child is in good health, and that the household is calm with no impending turmoil such as a move coming up, a new baby being brought home, or a parent going away on a trip.

Dress the child in easy to remove clothing like sweat pants with an elastic waist. Snaps, buttons and zippers are difficult for little hands and time consuming to manipulate when the urge arises. To reduce the pressure on the child, allow him to stay in diapers during the early days of potty training. Gradually transition him into underwear for short amounts of time as his dry times become more and more extended.

After a meal, nap, or when coming in from outdoors are good times to encourage the child to hop on the potty. Parents should be on the look out for indicators of when the child may have the urge to go.

Accompany the child to the potty and stay with him. The visit to the bathroom should be short and sweet; five minutes is plenty of time. Offer reading material, or use a fun potty training tool or toy to make the five minutes engaging. Important: if the child wants to get off of the potty before five minutes, don’t force him to stay.

Praise, praise, praise! Little milestones deserve lots of hugs and kisses. It is really something for a little tyke to hop on the potty by herself, pull up her own pants, or make it into the bathroom (even if only to be a little late.) Be kind, patient, sensitive and proud. Don’t scold the child for having accidents, ever.

Whining And Dining by: Lynn Powers

Have you ever gone to a restaurant to relax after a hard day’s work only to have a child at the next table screaming, crying, or throwing temper tantrums throughout your entire meal?

It’s not easy, if not impossible, to enjoy yourself, let alone carry on a nice conversation with whomever you’re dining with while listening to a screaming child. Although we can sympathize with the parents, who are usually red-faced and greatly embarrassed by their child’s behavior, frankly, it’s distracting and annoying.

I will confess I’ve been that embarrassed parent. I am ashamed to say our family’s presence has annoyed our share of fellow diners. When my kids were younger, there were more than a few times when they threw fits in the middle of a dining-out experience. Almost enough to boycott dining out until they were in their teens. Or, at least limit eating out to fast food restaurants where whining children are the norm, rather than the exception.

If you’re daring enough to admit you’ve been there, if your child has screamed, cried or temper tantrumed and annoyed his or her way through dinner, read on. Here are some tips for making your dining out experience more peaceful for everyone.

1. Choose the restaurant wisely. There is truly no need to eliminate sit down restaurants from your life for the next ten years (fine dining, maybe). If a restaurant provides high chairs, it means that children are welcome (or at least tolerated!) If you’re concerned about distracting other diners, ask for a table in the corner or in an area that’s noisier to begin with, such as near the kitchen.

2. Timing is Everything. Avoid scheduling your lunch or dinner during rush hour, when the restaurant will be more crowded. The least busy time to dine out is typically between two and five PM. Timing your child’s mood is also a must. Taking a child out to eat when he’s tired almost guarantees a dinnertime meltdown. Right after naptime is usually best.

3. Be Prepared. I am convinced that dining out with children is one of the main reasons companies design huge purses. Throw a few extra things in your bag before leaving for the restaurant. Things like snacks and other food options in case your child decides she doesn’t like anything on the menu. Small toys or books that can occupy her while she waits for her food. Many restaurants provide these things for times such as this. Ask your hostess or waitress. She’ll probably be glad you did.

4. Don’t Lose your Cool. As embarrassed as you may be if your child throws a fit in the middle of a busy restaurant, and no matter how many angry looks you get from fellow diners, take it in stride. Yelling at your child or getting frustrated only makes everyone feel worse. Walk out with your child for a few moments to see if he’ll calm down. If not, you may need to leave the restaurant altogether. Apologize to your waitress, ask for carryout containers and hightail it out of there.

One last thought: don’t give up hope! Just because you had an unpleasant dining experience this time doesn’t mean it won’t be smooth sailing next week. Try, try again. Pray for God to give you patience with your child. And pray for other diners to extend you a little grace as you master the dining out experience with your child.

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