Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Sean and his Middle Child Syndrome

I came to know about 'Middle Child Syndrome' during a gathering with friends. From then, I make an effort to discuss this subject with other friends. To my surprise, many of them encountered and commented similar issues on middle child.
For me, I must admit that I am having tough time with Sean especially during my pregnancy of Ern Nee, the youngest. Many times, I lost control of myself, I even lost direction on how to handle him; feeling so useless, guilty and sad after the scolding and screaming. At one stage, I fell into serious anxiety and depression. This is because I love and care for him so much., but in return he demands for more love and care by misbehaving and being very defensive.
I happened to be a middle child myself. Though not 100%, I do agree to most of the points published in articles that I have read through. Please find the articles summarised as per belows:
*A middle child often have the sense of not belonging and feel left out and insecure.
*A middle child feels that life is unfair, or unloved or less loved than the others, and develop into an adult who suffers from a negative view of life.
*A middle child fights to receive attention because they feel ignored and have their 'firsts' not given as much praise.
*A middle child is often a loner. They don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship.
*A middle child is traditionally not over achievers and only do enough to get by. This is because they do not like to take the limelight for anything.
*A middle child is however very artistic and creative. If forced to use abilities they will work well.
*A middle child often grow up to be well-adjusted, easy-going adults. It is said that middle child, since they must learn to deal with both oldest and youngest sibling, often learn adaptability, and may turn out to be the kind of adults who are good mediators and negotiators.
I hope that by sharing the above, it grants emotional support in helping you, to handle better with anxiety and depression when dealing with middle child.
Meantime, do remember to help middle children find their own unique gifts and talents and hence building strong sense of identity. Praise them for things they did well, avoid comparing amongst siblings and try to spend individual time with each of your children. Good luck !

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